Tuesday, May 10, 2011

When your family is harmful to your health...

Sorry this is nothing fashion related, so feel free to skip this post.

My family lives about 10 minutes away from me, but I try to see them as little as possible. I went home last weekend to take my mom out and also stopped by to see my aunt.

My aunt goes, you look awful. How come you're so skinny and your face....too skinny! You have too many fine lines around your eyes. When you don't smile, it looks fine. When you smile...ohh too many wrinkles! Those lines are pretty deep too. You need to gain weight on your face. So she asked me about what I been doing lately, I said nothing nothing just blogging. So she sees my pictures from last week's post and she goes, ohh much better...you look fatter. I said to her, that was last week. I didn't loose or gain weight.

I love my family, but sometimes it better for my self esteem not to see them. *sigh*

Now I'm on the hunt for miracle eye cream that will make my fine lines go away. Suggestions anyone?

29 comments:

  1. hahahahahah

    I'm using roc eye creme.

    We all have 1 of those relatives. I roll my eyes & vow never to speak to them.

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  2. Aw! Ping! Sorry that it makes you feel so low! My mom is that way, too...always finding a flaw to point out...usually my hair these days. She disapproves of the curly hair and says I look like a "wild woman".

    I know it hurts to hear all their comments about your weight, but as long as you feel that you are eating healthy, then at least you know are doing things right.

    And wrinkles?! Not apparent at all! As for an eye cream...I just started using Clinique's "All About Eye" eye cream in rich. I have a severe problem with dryness, and this does the trick. Cannot say that it is a miracle worker on lines, though. I have three lines forming under my eyes...they have been slightly reduced and filled in with this cream, but no miracle "poof! be gone!" cream. I am very happy with it since my dryness is nearly non-existent. Bought a second one during the last free gift event. I do suggest you search on Sephora's site and read their reviews...such great feedback!

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  3. Regarding my last sentence about Sephora I meant it to mean...search the eye cream products...not just that Clinique one. :p

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  4. Is it just me or are Asian families generally more "honest" about this sort of stuff? haha. Anyway, I suggest an eye cream with retinol in it, if you're worried about fine lines, assuming you don't have any skin conditions that would cause major irritation. Retinol is the only proven over the counter wrinkle fix.

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  5. Adding more to what Sara said...retinol is a great suggestion! But make sure you are getting enough. I have read in "Skint Type Solutions" book that Affirm and Philosopshy make a good dosage. There is 1x, 2x, and then 3x by Affirm. I started with 1x and went through two bottles over the course of several months. I decided to skip 2x and go to the 3x. Should have probably gone to 2x, because it was very drying the first week. I do not use under my eyes, though...just face. And sunscreen after retinol (which should only be applied at night) is a must!!

    Affirm 1x @ skinstore.com.

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  6. Hahaha I know what you mean, especially also coming from an Asian family. My grandmother always comments about my weight (and it's different nearly every single week). One week I'm too skinny, the next I'm too plump! And whenever we go out to eat she never fails to announce to the entire table that I'm watching my weight and that's why I'm not eating as much as I should (which is completely untrue hahaha). But I like to think that it's all done out of love and "concern". Asian people are just socially awkward sometimes, even with family :P

    Hope you're having a great week regardless, Ping!

    p.s. I collaborated with Club Monaco to give away a very pretty Pamera skirt that I think would be just your style! :) Have you checked it out yet?

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  7. LOL. Oh Ping. I webcammed my grandma last weekend and oh god...you're too skinny yada yada it's always the same old. And I'm pretty sure I told you my mom's thoughts on my face in prior blog posts. I totally know how you feel and agree distance is sometimes better to keep your sanity.

    Let me know how the eye cream works, whatever you end up choosing. I see no wrinkles from my angle over here ; )

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  8. i totally know how you feel! my mother and mother in law are constantly telling me how skinny i look, and how my face looks so gaunt. eww. i just ignore them! lol.

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  10. Oh Ping I know how it feels my family is the same way. Sending you a big hug. I'd suggest looking into Olay regenerist filling+ sealing wrinkle treatment, though I don't see any wrinkles on you. What I have been doing lately to take care of my skin is drinking plenty of water, eating a lot of fruits and veggies (avocados are great for the skin and they are so yummy), wearing sunscreen daily. Also I discover some time ago that powder foundation/concealers are not a good choice if you have dry skin (I do) and they also tend to accentuate lines more. So my favorite product is tinted moisturizer.

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  11. We all have relatives like that. It's really annoying, but you shouldn't let it affect you! Your loved ones are always the most critical and they don't mean to harm you. Plus, I've noticed that 99% of Asian women do this. Nooo idea why. LOL "You're too skinny" "Eat more" blah blah blah

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  12. Oh Ping..Oh Ping..it is probably an Asian thing that always gives out a constructive comment lol. Yeah..it kind of sucks that these words come from our own family members but try not to let it get the best of you. I have someone in my family like that too (my aunt) who I am remotely related and physically far away from.

    As for eye cream, I don't know what to suggest you as I use my creme de la mer all over my face including around my eye area too.

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  13. This is TOTALLY an Asian thing. Lookism is considered PC for the older generation - people (especially women) are always being criticized for being too fat or too skinny and they start to suggest that you need eye cream the day you walk across the stage to get the undergrad degree...

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  14. Ladies-- thanks so much for your sweet comments.
    The retinol sounds like something that is very effective with fighting wrinkles and fine lines. It also seems like it could be very drying. I think I might consult a dermatologist and ask them if they have a retinol product that is appropriate for me. I will definitely update if I end up getting it!

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  15. asian relatives are just like that ... sigh. i get called fat 24/7 by even complete strangers. so, take that as a compliment :) i started using eye cream now: kiehl's avocado eye cream - it's cheap but very good!

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  16. Oh! Ping, I feel your pain...
    My mother dearest (an authentic TIGER MOM), aunt and in-law are the same. My aunt once called me "A PIG" in public for my fondness of sleeping and "A SHRIMP" for my small stature. My mom always remind me that I only possess 1/10 of her intelligence. They are just MEAN spirit and say whatever in the moment regardless of others feeling. Some comments may seem funny or even constructive to them, but are hurtful to my standard.
    You have wonderful skin and don't let your aunt's baseless comment shatters your self confidence.
    I currently use Clarins Contour eye gel and eye balm. They are light and gentle to the eye area. You are too young to have crow feet but it is wise to prevent wrinkles at an early age. Get plenty of sleep, exercise regularly and drink water. Most importantly, ignore your aunt's comments.

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  17. Seriously, don't listen. You are beautiful. I have gotten comments like this all my life, too. I'm too skinny, too pale, and oh, my hair is too long. Don't listen!

    I use Alpha Hydrox Eye and Upper Lip Cream. (Alpha Hydrox is the brand name -- the company is at http://www.neotericcosmetics.com ) I tried Roc but couldn't use it, allergic reaction

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  18. hi dear..
    what an amazing blog...
    if you want we can follow each other..let me know..

    look my post VERYSIMPLE and leave me a comment what do you think about the ss 2011 collection...

    xoxo2befab

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  19. Angie-- that is ridiculous!! You are nowhere NEAR fat. You are petite! even though comments aren't true, i know they can be very hurtful.

    anon -- lol! everytime i see my family, i complain to my bf about what my family says to me. he tells me that i should dish it back, but i'm not like that. thanks for the great advice too!

    ladycardigan-- thanks for your comment. i don't know why people feel the need to tell you these things. so rude right!?

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  20. My grandma always tells me I'm too skinny and I need to have babies :P It's better than when she used to tell me my face was "broken" in straight translation when I had bad acne as a teen. Now I just laugh it off and I don't take it personally and actually think they're funny stories to tell :P

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  21. Infeel like every Asian person has family like that.. I get it from my mom, dad, aunts, uncles, grandmother... You so fat why you so fat.. Oh god that's why I hate going to taiwan.. I lovelovelove taipei..but seeing my family is such a pain.

    Omgosh I so know who you are talking about at nordstrom downtown he's this short Asian guysp with glasses right??? He cracks me up too!!

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  22. Nothing is wrong with you!

    My family is like that, too. Maybe a little worse...

    You don't need any creams. :)

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  23. Ugh. I hate toxic people....they make me so mad. I think it's just best to shrug off their comments (I know it's hard...) Big virtual huge for you Ping. You know you are gorgeous!

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  24. Oh sweetie you don't need a miracle eye cream! I use Caudalie, Sense and others. BUT let me tell you I see no wrinkles on you sweetie! You are beautiful just the way you are! I feel the same way about my family. They tell me I'm too skinny, they tell me that I have room to eat more even though I gained 10lbs. They talk crap about how preschool teachers don't make a lot of money. They talk crap no matter what. Family can be our biggest critics, but I love them no matter what, but sometimes need my sanity too. I'm here for you! I totally can relate! Hehehe!

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  25. I go for microdermabrasion once per month, it's a spa treatment and its like a crystal machine that scrubs off the top later of your dead skin, it's suppose to replenish your skin and stinumlate the growth.. plus it gets rid of acne scars eventually... that may be a try?

    yeah family sucks esp when it comes to asian family about that, I get my grandmother nagging and making mean comments about my body all the time when I go back home...

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  26. and they wonder why we don't want to visit them . . .

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  27. Aww, sorry Ping! If it makes you feel better, my family (or more specifically, my husband's family) LOVES to tell me how fat I am (even before I got pregnant). And how I get even fatter every time they see me :( I don't know how well it works, but I like the Olay Eye Roller for its easy application (I hate the slight tugging involved when I use my fingers). I just started though so we'll see if they help with lines.

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  28. Oh I'm so sorry to hear this and I can totally relate! Filipino parents/relatives are notorious for this (except they like to comment on how fat someone is even when they aren't)! One of my cousins whose mixed with white and whose beautiful and 5'7" thanks to her non-Asian side put it best when she said: "Who needs weight scales when you have brutally honest Filipino relatives?" The sad thing is that my relatives aren't trying to be mean, they're just blunt about their judgments. Definitely hate that aspect of my culture. So much so that I've refused to go back to the Philippines.

    It's much worse when you have a sister. The comparisons about whose prettier or skinnier said right in front of you is just atrocious. My older sister is much more petite than I am and for a long time, I actually believed I was a fat person. Thankfully, I am out of adolescence and have learned not to let petty comments bother me as much.

    Thanks for this post. It helps to know I'm not alone in this and do let us know how the eye cream search goes. I'm currently on the search for one to diminish my dark circles ;)

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